Since Nobody Reads This Anyway...

Thought I'd bring back this journal by saying that I suck. F and I are getting a divorce. Long time coming.

Problem: I have liked my friend S for a long time. When my behavior started to get into the grey area a few years back, I stopped hanging out with him or his roommate for a while. Seemed to make things okay. Then I really worked on my marriage, but I was too slow and it was too late. Now, I am all about my friend again. I haven't even moved out yet, but my brain has moved on! I am sex/affection-starved and only want him. However, I also don't want to hurt him by not being serious. And I'm afraid either I shouldn't be for a while to give myself some recovery time or I will just fuck him over by going after him too soon. I do not want to ruin our friendship, but I'm not sure I'll ever be content just being friends. Not to mention I can't figure out if he likes me and it has made me a crazy bitch with a serious schoolgirl crush.

Holy crap, what is wrong with me...